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投诉信 Purchases and Complaints

2021-10-10 20:09分类:高二英语 阅读:

 

写作任务:
假设你叫李华,在网上从一家外国公司买了一台IBM XP 1500笔记本电脑,但是到货后发现有很多问题。请你按以下提示给该厂家的经理写一封投诉信。

写作内容:

1. 未按时到货,且没有鼠标和使用说明书;2. 和在网上定购的型号及颜色不一致;3. 请予以退货并给予赔偿。

写作要求:语言流畅,语法正确;词数:120-150。参考词汇:说明书instruction manual / booklet

Dear Manager,

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Yours,

Li Hua

分析:

1. 本次写作任务要求写一封投诉信。投诉信是对商家的产品或者服务等不满意而向商家提出意见、建议或者要求商家对顾客作出赔偿或者给予道歉的书信。投诉信属于应用文,因此要有书信的规范格式。一般说来,投诉信的称谓应包含公司的名称以及相关人员的职位。内容包括写投诉信的目的,投诉的内容,最后明确提出自己的意见或者建议等,即要求商家给予怎样的回应。写投诉信时态度要坚决,但语气要客气礼貌;另外要证明责任确实在商家;最后要明确问题出在哪儿及你的具体要求,还可加上由此给你来的不便或伤害,以加强投诉信的分量。

2. 本次写作任务要求以退换电脑为主题,写一封投诉信。称谓是商家的经理。正文第一部分要明确告诉商家写这封信的目的是对产品不满而进行的投诉;第二部分要说明情况和具体问题,即题目中列出的前两点:未按时到货,且没有鼠标和使用说明书;和在网上定购的型号及颜色不一致等,这部分可适当加入细节,以使文章饱满;第三部分要表明自己的态度和对所发生事件的改善建议,希望商家予以退货并给予赔偿。注意语气要坚定但不能有失礼貌,不能因为自己是受害方而咄咄逼人,让对方感到反感。

3. 常用的投诉信的短语和句型有:短语:

●dissatisfaction with ... 不满于……

●put up with / bear / tolerate忍受

●awful 糟糕的

●poor service糟糕的服务

●to one’s great disappointment令某人大失所望

●look into / investigate调查

●bad manners 不礼貌

●remedy 补救

●recurrence再次发生

必备句型:

1) I am writing to you to complain about...

2) I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with...

3) I hope that you will consider my suggestions and improve the situation as soon as possible.

4) We hope that you will now consider this matter seriously and make an effort to prevent a recurrence of this kind.

5) I must warn you that unless you do something about the situation, I will be forced to take legal action.

初稿:

Dear Manager,

I’m writing this letter to make a complaint about poor service from your company.

I ordered a computer and was told I would receive it within 15 days. I received the computer yesterday. There is neither a mouse nor an instruction manual in the package. The computer I received is not the computer I ordered. I am dissatisfied. I would like to exchange this computer for the one that I ordered. If there is no such a computer in stock, I must return this one, get my money back and receive compensation for the inconvenience. I would appreciate your understanding and cooperation.

Yours,

Li Hua

教师点评:

初稿的优点:
初稿基本涵盖了写作分析中的几大要点。文章结构完整、层次清晰。首段点明信件性质是投诉信,第二段具体描述了服务中出现的失误,最后提出解决问题的建议。
文章存在的问题:
初稿在结构上比较完整,但是内容上不符合投诉信的写作方法。首先,文章交代的信息不全面,投诉者应该将具体的定购日期以及公司应该到货的时间和定购的型号以及颜色等交代清楚,以增强投诉信的投诉效果。另外,在语言使用上略显强硬,咄咄逼人。句子和段落之间缺乏必要的衔接,如果能够在这几方面有所改进,就可以顺利完成写作任务了。

成稿:

Dear Manager,

I’m writing to make a complaint about your company’s poor service.

I ordered one IBM laptop —model number XP1500 —from your company on August 7th. I was told that I would receive it within 15 days. However, I received the laptop yesterday. I wonder why the shipment took 25 days. I’m sorry to tell you that I couldn’t find a mouse or an instruction booklet in the package. In addition, the laptop I received is not model number XP1500, but model number XP1000. Furthermore, I ordered a white one, but this one is black. Since there are so many unsatisfactory things, I would like to return this laptop, get my money back and receive compensation for the inconvenience. I’m looking forward to your reply.

Yours,

Li Hua

教师点评:
经过修改后,成稿适当增加了关联词,衔接更为紧密。在用词方面进行了调整,使得语气更加符合投诉信的要求。内容上比较详尽,让被投诉方能够意识到自己的失误,称得上是一封合格的投诉信。

Powerful Sentences:

1. I expect your company to award me $1,000 in compensation.

2. I’m writing this letter to make a complaint about your poor shipment service.

3. I hope you can give me a satisfactory reply and reasonably deal with this matter.

4. I wonder why your service is quite different from the promise on the poster issued by your company.

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