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理想 My Ideal

2021-10-18 02:58分类:高一英语 阅读:

 

写作任务:
校园广播站的《每日英语》栏目请你谈谈自己的理想,并谈谈你为了实现自己的理想今后将做什么样的计划。写作内容应包括:1. 你的理想是什么;2. 为了实现理想,现在该怎么做。词数:120-150。注意:开头和结尾已给出,不计入总词数。

Boys and girls,

Welcome to Everyday English broadcast! Today, I will talk about my ideal.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

_____

Thank you for listening.

分析:

1. 写作任务在形式上要求写一篇广播稿,内容上要求写一篇做计划和安排的说明文。广播稿没有特别严格的格式,可以根据主题随意发挥。但要注意以下两点:第一,要通俗化、口语化。第二,在写导语时,要先打招呼,请听众收听。这部分不在此进行详细分析。重点分析文章在内容上的安排。首先谈谈自己的理想是什么,可以附带着解释一下为什么会有这样的理想;重点部分是为了实现理想做计划和安排这一部分。这部分可以列出大的框架并说明在此大框架下具体的行动计划等;也可以谈谈自己每一步计划或安排所应该达到的目标或对实现理想有何影响。要注意条理清晰;主次安排得当。

2. 具体到本次写作任务,我们可以做以下安排:
首先,谈谈自己的理想是什么。例如,我的理想是当一名教师,同时可以谈谈原因,如教师是最伟大的职业之一;可以帮助学生成为对社会有用的人;从个人方面来讲,教学可以让自己感到快乐等。然后根据自己对教师这一职业的了解来谈谈为了实现自己的理想应该做怎样的计划。教师的职责是教书育人,因此为了实现理想要好好学习文化知识。这里可以再具体一点,谈谈如何做好知识上的准备:为了做好知识上的准备要保证每天有充足的学习时间;采用合理的学习方法等。然后还要锻炼身体,拥有强健的体魄;培养高尚的道德品质,达到育人的目的等,可以从中选择一两点来重点说明。最后自然过渡到有了以上的准备,就可以成为一名优秀的教师实现自己的理想了。

初稿:

Boys and girls,

Welcome to Everyday English broadcast!Today, I will talk about my ideal. There are various kinds of jobs in the world. But every person has his or her own ideal job. For me, I have always dreamed of becoming a teacher.

I’d like to help children grow both intellectually and emotionally. If I do a good job, I’m sure I can really make a big impact on a child’s life. I think pursuing a career in education is one of the noblest pursuits. It will fill me with both pleasure and fulfillment.

I don’t think teaching is an easy job at all. To realize my ideal, I must study hard from now on so that I can learn more. I will make every effort to improve myself so that I can achieve my dream. Thank you for listening.

教师点评:

1. 初稿的文章涉及到了题目的要点。用语方面及语句方面有几处比较精彩。如:I will make every effort to ...从句的使用。

2. 有待改进之处:
文章偏离了写作任务的要求。仔细审题可知,写作任务的重点是要求谈谈为实现理想应该做什么样的计划,而初稿的文章在为什么会有这样的理想和实现理想所做的计划方面平分秋色,存在主次不分,详略不当的问题。另外在为实现理想所做的计划方面,内容比较空洞,只是谈到要好好学习,提高自己的能力,但是没有具体到行动上,这样的计划和安排,让读者读起来感觉不实际,缺乏执行力。

成稿:

Boys and girls,

Welcome to Everyday English broadcast!Today, I will talk about my ideal. I have always dreamed of becoming a teacher. Teachers play an important role in helping students succeed. I think being a teacher is one of the greatest things in the world. This is my plan for becoming a teacher: First, I will study hard so that I can learn all the necessary information to teach. I study every day, but I must try to find new ways to study so that I can improve my study efficiency. At the same time, I will make every effort to exercise so that I stay healthy and have enough energy to devote myself to teaching in the future. Provided I prepare well, I am sure I will become a good teacher in the future.

Thank you for listening.

成稿点评:
成稿的文章结构和内容安排上比较合理,首先谈到自己的理想是成为一名教师,然后解释了原因;接着讲到为实现理想而做的计划:最主要的是做好知识上的准备以及如何获得更多的知识;然后又提到良好的身体素质也是实现理想的重要方面,要加强锻炼。文章主体内容安排上详略得当,主次分明,可执行性强,完成了写作任务。

Powerful Sentences:

1. I have made up my mind to become a doctor so that I can save many lives.

2. My ideal results from a deep passion for helping children grow both intellectually and emotionally.

3. To realize my ideal, I must study hard from now on to prepare for my future.

4. At the same time, I’ve been talking to lots of others so that I can learn how to be a good teacher.

巩固练习:
假设你叫李华,是某国际旅行社的导游,请你写一篇英文的行程安排单告知外宾。内容包含如下要点:

1. 参观中国的古建筑,体验中国的传统文化;

2. 参观中国的现代化都市,了解中国的发展;

3. 游览时间:5天。注意:120-150词。

参考范文:

Ladies and Gentlemen:

Welcome to China. I will be your tourist guide while you’re in China. I will now tell you your itinerary while you visit China.

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